#014: Something I’d Tell My 20 Year Old Self
I’m not a person who lives life looking back with regrets. I believe that all of my experiences are what brought me to where I am today. And for that reason, I wouldn’t change the past. I just (hopefully) learn from it.
There are some things, though, that I really would have appreciated figuring out when I was twenty.
Here’s a big one: At twenty, I wish I understood that the majority of people I would love and who would love me, I had not even met yet. We have our family. Maybe we have a couple of friends. But the big loves of our lives- spouses, children, friends we choose not just through convenience- at twenty, we haven’t even met most of these people yet.
Twenty is hard enough. Of course I have so many great, fun memories from that age. But I also have memories of lost friendships, and heartbreak. I think it would have been comforting to know that the best was yet to come.
As difficult as it was to be twenty in the 80’s 😩, I can’t even imagine what it’s like today. The world is a much smaller place with everyone being connected through social media. It must be so hard to go through those years of trying to find your stride, being brave enough to put yourself out there willing to fail, only to be faced every day with people posting their perfect lives- highlight reels- on social media.
Here’s what I would tell them:
You are exactly where you’re supposed to be right now.
It’s normal to feel insecure compared to other people your age.
What social media is showing you may look real, but it isn’t. On some level, everyone feels like you do.
When a friendship or relationship comes to an end, it’s ok to be sad and mourn it, but know that better things lie ahead.
The happiest days of your life have not happened yet.
The majority of people who will love you fiercely you haven’t even met.
As much as I would have loved to have understood all of this at twenty, I’m not sure I would have believed someone if they tried to tell me.
Still though, there’s so much over the course of our lives to look forward to.
I think it would have been great to know when I was twenty that the best really was yet to come.
