# 28: Midlife Imposter Syndrome: Recognizing the Signs and Finding Your Confidence
Meet Rachel, a successful finance professional with tons of experience. After spending years in the corporate world, she decided to pursue her true passion, which was art. She’d been creating art for decades, and knew people loved what she created. But despite receiving praise for her work and gaining recognition in the art community, Rachel couldn't help but feel that she was an imposter in the art world. She felt that since she lacked formal art education, she didn't belong among "real" artists.
Sarah was a dedicated mother who spent every available moment with her children. She helped them with homework, attended every school event, and coached their sports teams. Despite her commitment, Sarah often felt like an imposter as a parent. She compared herself to other parents who seemed to effortlessly balance work, family, and self-care, and she believed she fell short. She constantly worried that her kids deserved better and that she was failing them in some way.
Then there’s me. On a pretty regular basis I’m asked for help or advice regarding an aging parent, neighbor, friend or even acquaintance. Besides having my own, personal experiences with my parents, I’ve also worked in senior living as a community relations director for several years. I help families navigate the complexities of caring for seniors as my career. Recently, though, someone asked me if I’ve ever considered offering consulting services and workshops on this topic. Despite having a track record of success and knowing how many people I’ve helped to successfully make a plan, I can’t help but feel like an imposter due to my lack of formal education in geriatrics.
These stories illustrate three, real-life examples of what’s called, “imposter syndrome”.
Imposter syndrome is that nagging feeling of self doubt, where you find yourself questioning whether you deserve your accomplishments, and even downplaying your successes or attributing them to luck.
By the time we reach midlife, though, we’ve become experts on so many different things, from accomplishments within our professional careers, to becoming proficient in our hobbies, and even developed expertise regarding household tasks such as cooking, plants and landscaping, and decorating Yet somehow we aren’t willing to give ourselves credit.
Here are a few of the signs you’re experiencing imposter syndrome, and what you can do to overcome it:
Sign 1: Downplaying Achievements: You downplay your accomplishments by dismissing praise or attributing your success to external factors. This can prevent you from owning your achievements.
Overcoming It:
Keep An “Achievements Journal”: Document your successes and compliments from others, treating it almost as you would treat your resume. Reviewing this journal can remind you of your capabilities during moments of self-doubt.
Share Your Achievements: Don't be afraid to share your accomplishments with others. Celebrating your wins is a great way to acknowledge your hard work.
Sign 2: The Pursuit of Perfection and Overworking: You may feel compelled to overwork, striving for flawlessness in every endeavor, which can lead to burnout.
Overcoming It:
Set Realistic Goals: Embrace the idea that perfection is unattainable. Instead, set realistic goals and strive for excellence rather than perfection.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Remember that making mistakes is a part of growth.
Sign 3: The Relentless Inner Voice of Self-Doubt: You find yourself questioning whether you truly deserve your accomplishments or attributing your successes to luck.
Overcoming It:
Acknowledge Your Achievements: Take inventory of your accomplishments, big and small. Write them down if it helps. Recognize that you've worked hard to get where you are.
Seek Validation: Don't be afraid to seek feedback and validation from trusted friends, mentors, or colleagues. Hearing others acknowledge your capabilities can help silence the self-doubt.
It took time, but Rachel eventually realized that her unique journey and creativity were valuable assets, and she overcame her imposter syndrome by embracing her unconventional path. Sarah eventually realized that perfect does not exist, and that doing her best was enough. She learned that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting and that her love and presence were what truly mattered to her kids.
And as for me, I’ve come to realize that my deep understanding of the practical aspects of senior living and my empathy for families are invaluable. I’m overcoming my own imposter syndrome by acknowledging that my expertise is unique and that I’m making a real impact on my clients' lives.
